Poor Britney Spears has to be feeling lonely just now, and i would bet she feels more alone than George W Bush does when he asked friends to co-sign his honorary membership to Mensa.

When your hubby dumps you, followed by your body guard, and then your Lawyer, followed the next day by your manager, you gotta start having a shower more than once a month gurl. 

Well rats jump a sinking ship, in this case i think the rat is sinking and the lifeboats have headed for the shore leaving the problem behind. Having given up all hope on a rescue mission. There is only so much crap a person will take while trying to help you. If you are to dumb to see that, then hand over your kids, please don't take them down with you.

Britney was at the Las Vegas Luxor Hotel & Casino last night to host the opening of the LAX Nightclub inside.

Britney and Criss looked snug as they partied in the VIP area and Criss was insisting they are not together "It's amazing what people think. We're not together. Her manager is my manager, and I'm helping with one of her shows. I'm helping with her appearance on MTV."

Well after the party at the LAX both Britney and Criss where holding hands and  smooching at McDonald's. Now Criss added "It's amazing how you can't do anything now without people making up stuff."

Well you see Criss, having a smooch and holding hands is a little more on the dating side of a relationship than the professional side of a relationship you keep telling us about.

i aint smooched my boss or held hand with him and i wouldn't be seen dead in a McDonald's, what were you two thinking of?  Oh yeah, what comes after smooching i guess!

Rumors have been circulating that Britney is an out of control mother…somebody call the Maury Show.

Apparently, Kevin Federline is seeking full custody of Sean Preston, 22 months, and Jayden James, 11 months. The latest magazine covers have been saying "HELP!" over a picture of the two boys. "Kevin battles for Sean and Jayden as Britney grows more dangerous."

So here's some of MANY mistakes that she has made as a mother… she has indulged the sweet tooth of little Sean Preston who had a really bumpy first year of life as he fell from his high chair, first class driving lessons from mommy dearest herself, and almost falling to the ground as the O-SO-GREAT mother Britney Spears almost DROPPED him while she was carrying him.

"He's having dental problems because Britney just shoves a bottle of juice in his mouth all the time to stop him from crying," a "family insider" tells the mag, which claims he's also allowed such treats as soda in his bottle, ice cream before bed, Doritos and chewing gum.

Get this: To fix her stupid ass mistakes, she took Sean Preston to the dentist to get his teeth whitened. The dentist was like HELLLL NAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWW!

When Britney went house hunting for a 6.5 MILLION dollar house, "She ate tacos on the bedroom floor!" maintains a mole. "She got crumbs and grease everywhere. She let her babies and her dog roam the floor. She left the bed a mess — I don't know what's wrong with her."

I cant believe this dumb little bimbo. Its like a immature little baby had babies! She's such a disgusting hick that it isnt even funny anymore. I feel sorry for her dumb country ass. I cant believe that when shes craving a cigarette, she tells Sean Preston "Baby, where are momma's lollipops" and Sean will run and get her cigarettes.

A 22 month baby associating cigarettes as candy.

Smart Britney, Smart. I hope you get chronic diarea so you have to stay home and take care of your KIDS.

 

 

Yes, you heard me! Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are finally officially divorced as of TODAY. The alamony agreement will not be made public, unless there is an enforcement issue going on.

The attorney said that "Most of that tracks the prenup".

Commissioner Scott Gordon said, "The best interests of the children could be harmed" if the arrangement were not sealed.

I'm glad all this drama is over. I'm just waiting for Britney Spears' new album… she's such a fantastic and multi-talented singer and writer and EVERYTHING OH MY GOD! haha.

I wonder how much Kevin's gold diggin ass got out of her from donating his sperm.

I'd do the same thing if I was a incest bred loser like him.

Britney Spears must have a REAL hard time finding a decent man. I mean, she looks in ALL the right places..like a club…like bars…like the mental house. Smart girl, I must say. Anywho, since all the drunk,crazy men are all taken (too bad for her), she likes to settle with her staff.

I dunno bout you guys, but isn't it normally a rule to not have PERSONAL employee relations?

I guess when your Britney Spears, you can have any relationship you want.

Well enough of my blabbering, the news is, Britney Spears is now dating her BODYGUARD. Yes, folks. She went from backup dancer to bodyguard. At least this one will be more of a man.

She seems like one of those determined mom's who is gonna do ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING, to find a father for her kids. I dunno if those kiddos could talk yet, but Im pretty shure the first sentance out of their mouth is gonna be "Are you my daddy".

 

It seems as though the newly retarded Britney Spears is planning to STOP divorce preceedings against Kevin Federline. NOT only that, but she wants to get back together with him and have babies! (ha ha okay, maybe, just MAYBE, I'm lying about the babies part.. but the getting back together part is true!)

So anywho, according to a new issue of National Enquirer, K-Fed isn't too keen on the idea of getting back together.

Apparently, during a recent phone conversation, Britney said "I'm not divorcing you, I want my family back". Why Britney? You were finally free from his sorry, lazy, pathetic, no good of a man ass.

Recently, she's been telling close friends and family that filing for divorce from the "talented" hahaha..backup dancer was a mistake.

Okay, so Kevin Federline suspected that Britney was stalling the divorce preceedings because she was having second thoughts. Still, it came as a shock to him when she told him the news. He testified that he DID NOT want to get back together, but Britney Spear, the oh-so-smart woman that she is, said that she would drag the divorce on for months until he saw things her way.

Desperate?

I think she should be the new character on desperate housewives. They need a retarded person on the show anyways. It's like a new twist!

 

Clearly Britney Spears needs to learn how to dress herself, as you tell by this picture. It looks like she just left a resturant and forgot to remove the napkin. Here is a tip for you Britney, look at yourself in the mirror before you leave the house.

Britney Spears recently posed topless at a friends backyard with flowers covering her boobs. This is funny, because I'm sure she never thought this would have made it public… or did she? Myabe she's just getting desperate to make a come-back. This is probably one of the most disturbing pictures of Britney Spears I've ever seen.

Britney looks hideous in this photo. And what is it with her hats… she's always wearing ugly-ass robin hood hats these days. I'm sure if this picture was taken 6 or 7 years ago people would be going crazy over this picture. Now she's just a random bald white girl.

 

Britney Spears wants to record a duet with Sanjaya Malakar–the infamous American Idol contestant. It was reported by the National Ledger that, “Britney wants to cash in on some of the Sanjaya mania because he is getting so much attention right now she feels that if the two of them record a record together it will help get her back on the charts.”

Looks like Britney is desperate to make a comeback. Bald Britney and Puffy-haired Sanjaya.. what an odd combo. Maybe Sanjaya can donate some of his hair to Britney–she really needs it. The National Ledger claims that Britney already asked her agents to get in touch with Sanjaya about the duet.

Although I personally wouldn’t buy and Britney+Sanjaya collaboration CD, I think Sanjaya should take the offer since he has nothing to loose.

Last week it was Paris Hilton flashing her panties, this week it's a Britney Spears upskirt. She was spoted here leaving Parc Nighclub in Hollywood. I have no idea what she's wearing in these pictures. It looks like a pink shower curtain taped around her neck. Very classy Britney… NOT.